Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Breaking up is hard to do

Don’t take your love away from me

Don’t you leave my heart in misery

If you go then I’ll be blue

‘Cause breaking up is hard to do

In 1962, Neil Sedaka’s song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” became a huge hit, especially among people going through a breakup and the angst that follows. They could identify with misery and the blues.

Time has shown that he not only hit the mark during the 60’s, but in every generation since. This song has been covered and re-released frequently in the last 53 years.

The Breakup: Pain and Misery

The lyrics describe what it is like for many people when they break up, starting with misery and general unhappiness. In the beginning there is a plea: “Don’t take your love away, leaving me alone and unhappy.” There is a belief that your happiness is dependent upon the other person.

Remember when you held me tight

And you kissed me all through the night

Think of all that we’ve been through

Breaking up is hard to do

Instead of accepting reality, there is a tendency to remember the good times, especially the sex and all the tender, thrilling moments of being the center of attention and the object of someone’s desire.

I beg of you, don’t say goodbye

Can’t we give our love another try

Come on baby, let’s start anew

‘Cause breaking up is hard to do

The more one remembers and replays all that was good in the relationship, the greater the distance from reality. Many people ask themselves, “Why would he/she want to break up with me when there was so much good between us?”. This question reinforces the pain and the belief that without this relationship you are alone and there will never be any relationship as good as this one.

Please Don’t Leave Me

This is when the begging, or perhaps demanding, starts: “I love you, you made me happy, and if you leave I will be hurting; therefore you must not, cannot leave me.”

Very few people ask themselves the question that will start the healing: “Why would I want to stay in this relationship, and what am I going to actually miss?”

They say that breaking up is hard to do

Now I know, I know that it’s true

Don’t say that this is the end

Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

Finally, there is a semi-acceptance that the relationship is indeed ending, but rather than looking forward to what is next in life, there is a dwelling on the loss and the pain. Then, we lose our sense of self. There is a descent into depression, fantasy and wishful thinking. “I wish that this was not happening and maybe, if I wish enough, I can avoid the pain. If I wait long enough we will get back together.”

Moving Forward

To move forward and regain a sense of self, it is necessary to see reality for what it is and quit wishing, hoping and dreaming for a different outcome. It is a time to see yourself and all you are, to see your value and worth as a person.

After a relationship ends, there is grief to go through and pain to feel, but there is far more good that can come of it that you can know at this moment.

Neil Sedaka – Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

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