Happiness Quota: How Happy Are You Allowed to Be?

Happiness QuotaImagine this scene: A mother is in the hospital just having given birth to her baby. She is excited and happy. The nurse gives her the newborn. The baby turns her head toward mother and snuggles.

The baby is searching for warmth and comfort. The child probably is not hungry because it has just spent nine months with all its needs met. The baby is mostly traumatized and seeking comfort and safety. Continue reading

7 Behaviors That Hurt You and Your Relationships, and 5 Questions to Help You Improve

7 behaviors that hurt you and your relationships, and 5 questions to help you improveDo you find yourself feeling taken for granted in your relationships?

Do you feel like you are the one who gives more and receives less?

Do you feel unsure of how important you are to your friends, family

and lovers? Unconsciously, you may be teaching people to treat

you in a careless way by your behaviors.

John once again was feeling as if no one cared about what he needed or wanted. He and his wife had just returned from a much-needed vacation. They agreed that she would make most of the arrangements for the trip. He thought he was very clear that he did not want to go on any long guided trips. On the first day of the trip, however, John learned his first activity was an all-day guided bus tour on a bus with a lot of people. Continue reading

After Orlando, Deflecting Fear One Person at a Time

After Orlando Deflecting Fear One Person at a TimeAlisha came in with a look of fear and anxiety. “What is wrong with the world? Another mass shooting and no-one there to stop it. Why are the police not doing their job and protecting us? I can’t make sense of what is happening in the world. I feel so powerless, what can I do?”

Alisha was the first of many people, both male and female, to express these thoughts about the shooting in Orlando, both in and out of my office. In many ways, I am speechless and feel as powerless as everyone else.

The temptation is to follow the path of anger and violence: when in doubt, strike back. We all want something done so we can go back to what we see as the safe cocoon of the 50’s and 60’s. That is an illusion. I vividly remember the Bay of Pigs, waiting on the school playground to hear whether we were going to war. Was my daddy going to have to go to war? My best friend Kay and I held hands crying and trying to console one another.

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Orlando Shooting: A Call for Peace and Healing

 Orlando shooting
In the early hours of Sunday morning, while many of us were in our beds, a community came under attack.  A man walked into the Pulse nightclub in Orlando and opened fire; more than 100 people were injured or killed in the blink of an eye. President Obama summed it up as an act of terror and an act of hate.  In the coming days and weeks, we will again hear the discussions of gun control, religion, sexuality and hate in America.  For now, let us put all the talk aside, and ask whatever higher power is in your life to take care of these victims, their families, and their communities.

7 Benefits of Learning Something That Doesn’t Interest You

7 Benefits to learning something that dos't interest youLast  December, I was checking Facebook and saw one of the new live chats pop up in my feed.  WRAL-TV anchor David Crabtree and my friend, producer Stephanie Beck, were taking questions from viewers.  One viewer asked what tips they had for an aspiring news reporter.  Crabtree’s answer, while directed toward a student in the journalism field, can teach everyone an important lesson about life.


“Take a course in a subject that you have absolutely no interest in

and master it very quickly…. As a news reporter, at the morning

meeting, you are thrown into a story. You have no idea what the

story is or even what the subject matter is. You have to learn it

very quickly, immerse yourself in it, master it and tell a cohesive,

cogent story by the end of the day. If you have trained yourself by

learning something you have no interest in you can transfer that

into your work.”

His words resonated with me on a number of levels, so much so that I’m sharing them with you six months later.  When I began this blog, this was a project that I had no interest in or desire to do.  I embraced it, though, and today you’re reading my 100th entry.  Doing something I was not interested in doing has taught new skills, revealed new interests and allowed me to learn quite a bit about myself.

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