Memorial Day: Remembering and Grieving

Memorial Day: Remembering and GrievingSeveral years ago, I had the pleasure of celebrating Memorial Day in a small town in a rural area. Families and friends gathered to celebrate. There was a band, picnic baskets, banners and American flags galore. There was even a small but enthusiastic parade. Veterans of all ages and the women and men who loved them marched down the street with joy, pride and gratitude. They were proud of the brave men and women who served their country in life and death. They were grateful for the peace they lived in everyday.


The parade ended with the playing of “Taps”.  The sorrowful song brought tears to many eyes. The thought reminds me that because Memorial Day celebrates and remembers the men and women who died in the service of their country, there are many people who will spend this day in deep grief.  They will be grieving for the people they love: mothers, fathers, children, grandchildren, lovers and friends. These people are still in the throes of acute grief that has not yet healed. For them, today will be a difficult and painful day.

Like Memorial Day, “Taps” invites people to slow down, pause and feel what it is like to celebrate those who have gone before. It is an invitation to reflect on your own life; to be grateful to be alive and able to live in a country where we have the freedom to choose how we want to live.


Take some time today to remember that not everyone is celebrating, but some are grieving. Take stock of all you have and all you don’t have. Take time to be grateful for what you do have and ask yourself, “What more do I really need?”

Soon after “Taps” was composed, lyrics were written to go with these beautiful and haunting notes. The words are equally as beautiful:memorial day

                    Day is done, gone the sun, 

  From the lake, from the hills, from the skies;

             All is well, safely rest. God is nigh. 

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together “I am a co-dependent. There is no way I am like those counter-dependents. I cling to people in relationships; I don’t push them away.”

It is possible to be both a co-dependent and a counter-dependent at the same time.  Each person has their “preferred” way of relating, but there are times when what is going on at an unconscious level may tell a very different story.

Co-dependency and counter-dependency work together in the mind to protect you from harm. In a relationship, they work to create a safe space where no one will get hurt. Continue reading

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependency

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependencyMuch has been written about co-dependency, its characteristics and the many ways it impacts relationships. Little has been written about the other side of the coin: counter-dependency. When circumstances are right, the co-dependent and counter-dependent will change roles. Even though they look very different they are both a product of fear. One is not worse than the other or more painful than the other. Continue reading

Michael Strahan – The Improbable

Good Morning America Michael StrahanThe syndicated talk show “Live with Kelly and Michael” needs a new host.  Today is Michael Strahan’s last day on the broadcast. While we’ve heard quite a bit about the move in terms of co-host Kelly Ripa’s reaction, this is a good time to take a moment to talk about Michael Strahan himself.

Regardless of public opinion about how he’s leaving the show,  this is a man who has now accomplished milestones in two careers that most people think are impossible to obtain.  From the NFL to TV personality and now on the way to joining Good Morning, America, he is likely on his way to becoming a superstar. Continue reading

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Why Memories?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind While walking on a windy winter beach on Valentine’s Day, a depressed man who is feeling hopeless, meets a quirky woman. He is afraid of contact and talking; she appears to be full of life, enthusiasm and a longing for adventure.

She makes overtures of friendship and he responds. Thus, begins the relationship between Joel and Clementine in the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Continue reading