“Finding Dory”: Words of Wisdom from Dory, Her Family and Friends.

Words of Wisdom from Dory, family and friendsSometimes, life is simply too much.  Too much at home, too much in the news, too much violence and sadness and loss. Times like that, your best option can be to escape the intense moment and rest your mind and spirit.  This week, I escaped with my grandchildren and a fish named Dory.

After rushing to the theater, buying popcorn and getting two small children settled in their seats, those new reclining ones, I settled back to enjoy the beauty of Finding Dory (“Not Dora, but Dory,” my granddaughter says. “Repeat after me: Dor…y.”).

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5 Ways to Have Intimacy In Your Relationships

5 Ways to Have Intimacy In Your RelationshipsThink about the last few movies you watched… or television shows… or books you read.   What kind of relationship did the main characters have?  Chances are good they were either falling in love or falling out of it.

Popular culture presents us very few examples of what an actual intimate relationship looks like. Most entertainment today focuses on one of two points in a relationship: the romance, or the conflict that comes after “the thrill is gone.”  There is another aspect of relationships that we seldom see, and is something we do want to achieve. We have few models as to how to get there, or how to maintain it when we arrive.  That something is intimacy.

What Is Intimacy?

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7 Behaviors That Hurt You and Your Relationships, and 5 Questions to Help You Improve

7 behaviors that hurt you and your relationships, and 5 questions to help you improveDo you find yourself feeling taken for granted in your relationships?

Do you feel like you are the one who gives more and receives less?

Do you feel unsure of how important you are to your friends, family

and lovers? Unconsciously, you may be teaching people to treat

you in a careless way by your behaviors.

John once again was feeling as if no one cared about what he needed or wanted. He and his wife had just returned from a much-needed vacation. They agreed that she would make most of the arrangements for the trip. He thought he was very clear that he did not want to go on any long guided trips. On the first day of the trip, however, John learned his first activity was an all-day guided bus tour on a bus with a lot of people. Continue reading

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together “I am a co-dependent. There is no way I am like those counter-dependents. I cling to people in relationships; I don’t push them away.”

It is possible to be both a co-dependent and a counter-dependent at the same time.  Each person has their “preferred” way of relating, but there are times when what is going on at an unconscious level may tell a very different story.

Co-dependency and counter-dependency work together in the mind to protect you from harm. In a relationship, they work to create a safe space where no one will get hurt. Continue reading

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependency

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependencyMuch has been written about co-dependency, its characteristics and the many ways it impacts relationships. Little has been written about the other side of the coin: counter-dependency. When circumstances are right, the co-dependent and counter-dependent will change roles. Even though they look very different they are both a product of fear. One is not worse than the other or more painful than the other. Continue reading