Orlando Shooting: A Call for Peace and Healing

 Orlando shooting
In the early hours of Sunday morning, while many of us were in our beds, a community came under attack.  A man walked into the Pulse nightclub in Orlando and opened fire; more than 100 people were injured or killed in the blink of an eye. President Obama summed it up as an act of terror and an act of hate.  In the coming days and weeks, we will again hear the discussions of gun control, religion, sexuality and hate in America.  For now, let us put all the talk aside, and ask whatever higher power is in your life to take care of these victims, their families, and their communities.

8 Qualities of Mindfulness

8 qualities of mindfulnessFrequently, we talk about mindfulness as a way to stop living on auto-pilot by paying attention to your life and making intentional decisions. Mindfulness is a way to tap into your internal resources so you can use them to reduce stress and conflict.

Sounds good, but how do you get there?  Here are some key concepts which can help you develop an attitude of mindfulness in your everyday living. Continue reading

Where Love Fits In: “The Theory of Everything”

The “Theory of Everything” tells the story of theoretical physicist Steven Hawking and his wife, Jane. At the age of 21, he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease and given two years to live. He is now 72 years old. The movie tells the story of two dedicated people working to extend his life far beyond what was considered possible. It is a story that presents us with the question, “What is love?”

Their relationship began shortly before he was diagnosed. What started as a relationship filled with excitement and wonder quickly turned into a 25-year struggle for productivity and survival. Jane never gave up hope for Steven, even at a time when a doctor suggested taking him off a ventilator. “Steven must live,” was her statement, and he did. She devoted years to keeping him alive and working, at the expense of her own career and ambitions; even when she was overwhelmed, depressed and angry.

As the disease progresses, you watch as Steven becomes physically handicapped in almost every way. He went from walking with a cane, to using a wheelchair. He could not use his hands to write; eventually, he could not even speak. When he would become discouraged, Jane was by his side, there to help him fight in order to continue his life’s work.

Steven and Jane have an amazing story to tell. Once you look past the extraordinary circumstances, however, you can also clearly see the stages of love (romance, disillusionment and acceptance) that we all experience in our own lives.

It began with romance, passion and excitement. They were happy to be with one another, no matter what the cost. We see this as Steven takes Jane to the May Ball, charms her with unique stories, and agrees to dance even though he doesn’t know how. The evening ends with a fireworks display that is nothing short of magic. She is entranced; he is enthralled.

They create a life together. His disease progresses, they have children, Jane works toward her Ph.D. Romance has ended and disillusionment sets in. Life is no longer what Jane dreamed, grief sets in along with all it brings: depression, anger, denial, and bargaining. This is the point where many relations fail, without the romance the grief overwhelms and the relationship is ended.

Jane decides to stay despite the hardship, and fights for Steven, his life and their relationship. She enters the stage of acceptance. Her romantic dream is dead. Together she and Steven, with the support of a team of others, accomplish truly great things. They raise three children together, and Jane finishes her Ph.D. while Steven lives to continue his work, which receives international acclaim.

In the course of their lives together, both Steven and Jane have choices to make. Jane chooses to stay; however, after 25 years together, Steven chooses otherwise. In the end, he leaves Jane.

An impactful movie that sticks with us as we leave the theater and makes us think about something we experienced as we watched. Their story raises the question, “Was love not enough to keep them together, or did love make those 25 years possible?” Could you even argue that love saved his life?

If you enjoy questions like this, look forward to February. That’s when I’ll reflect on love as it is presented in the media versus what we experience in real life. If you would like to explore the role “love” is playing in your life, I can help you. Call me at: 919-881-2001.