6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner Critic

6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner CriticWe spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the Harsh Inner Critic, how it developed, and the role it plays in your life. It is important to remember that it is usually not right. You can build skills to find relief from its influence. Your life does not have to be controlled by these painful, critical messages.

You are not going to be able to banish or destroy these messages. However, you can learn to not allow them to dictate your moods or run your life.

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5 Steps to Calm Down

A walk outside can help

A walk outside can help

Last week, we broke down the 5-step process of getting upset. We used the example of a father trying to get his daughter ready for school. He wanted to remain calm in a stressful situation, but instead became anxious and angry. It ended with him yelling at his daughter, her crying, and him feeling like a bad father.

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The Importance of the First Phone Call

It may not seem like much is happening when you make your first phone call as you are searching for a therapist, but it is actually a very important step toward feeling better. Of course, without that first call you cannot start therapy, but it is deeper than that. It is a step to empower yourself, one of the most important parts of the process of moving toward a more satisfying life. In the midst of your struggles you have the strength and courage to take action. You are admitting to yourself that you need help and acknowledge there is help to be had. Admitting or asking for help may feel like an action of desperation, which is even more reason to see it as an act of strength and hope.

In the initial conversation, even if it is only to book an appointment, you will learn about the person to whom you are talking. You will be able to tell if this is a person you want to talk to by
the tone of their voice and the way they talk to you.

If you need to ask questions, you will make some conscious and unconscious evaluations. Do you like his or her voice? Do they sound interested in what you are saying. Does it feel like they
have time or will make some time to listen to you in an attentive manner?

Therapy does not begin at this point, but a caring connection can begin. When you get off the phone do you feel you have talked to someone who is professional and warm at the same time? This first call can set the stage for what working with this person will be like.

When I have first contact with you on the phone, I will ask you if you have any questions. If you chose to have a free 15 minute consultation, I will ask you to briefly describe what brings you to
therapy at this time in your life. As you describe what is troubling you I can get a better idea if I am good fit for you and your situation, and you will get an idea if I might be a good fit for you.

What seems like a simple phone call to get information and make an appointment is filled with important information and experiences. Take the first step and reach out.