A Poem for Valentine’s Day

A Poem for Valentine's Day, "You Learn"The following poem is like so many things you will find on the internet these days. Its origins are credited to at least two writers. One is a woman, Veronica A. Shoffstall. One is a man, Jorge Luis Borges.

I could find little on Veronica A Shoffstall except that she wrote it. In her version she uses the words:                                                                                                                                                                               “with your head up and your eyes ahead                                                                                                              with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child.”

There is extensive information about Jorgus Luis Borges. He was an Argentina poet and it was originally published in Spanish.

In Jorgue Luis Borges version he says:                                                                                                                  “And you begin to accept your defeats                                                                                                                  With your head up and your eyes open”.

There are two other slight differences I found. The form that was used in each poem is different and the titles are different. Morgue’s title is, “You Learn”. Shoffstall names her poem, “After a While.”

You can decide what you think about the origins of the poem, I have included both.

I publish it today as my Valentine to you.

My hope for you is that you can show yourself all the love you need today.

 “You Learn”

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth…

And you learn and learn…

With every good-bye you learn.”

Jorge Luis Borges

___________________________________________________________

After A While

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn

that love doesn’t mean leaning

and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn

that kisses aren’t contracts

and presents aren’t promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn

to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow’s ground is

too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone

to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

you really are strong

you really do have worth

and you learn

and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn…

Veronica A. Shoffstall

May you have a love filled day. 

Katherine: (919)881-2001

Winter Solstice: An Ancient Holiday That’s Relevant Today

Winter Solstice

In ancient times, numerous beliefs and rituals were based on astronomical events. Many traditions that  started then are still celebrated today.  Tonight – the Winter Solstice – is one of those occasions.

Winter Solstice is the longest night of the year.  Throughout much of history, societies were built around the amount of daylight available.  The shortest day of the year, which comes with the longest night, was immensely important.  It meant the harvest had passed, and they would live on stored goods until the spring.  During the following months there would be hardship and even starvation for some.

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5 Ways to Cope With Holiday Drama

5 ways to cope holidaysHolidays may be a great time to see family and friends.  They are also a time when we return to old patterns and behaviors.  When we go back “home,” we revert to the relationships we had growing up, instead of acting as the grownups that we now are.  These are the same relationships and patterns that formed our views of ourselves and our outlooks on life.  Along with this, unconscious conflicts may come to the surface, which will cause us to end up in a three-sided behavior pattern.

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Let the New Year Begin!

new year

New Year’s resolutions are so much a part of the American consciousness. It seems to be a requirement that you start the year right by making your resolutions. For some, it is a great way to look forward to the next year with purpose and intent.

Yet, for others it is a set-up for failure. Great plans are made, energy is high, but for some that isn’t enough.

To these people, I would like to say: try a new approach. Think about next year as a new start. Period. Don’t force yourself to make a resolution or two (or TEN) that will set you up for judgment or avoidance.

Think about the year in gentle terms of possibilities, desires, interest and fun. Sometimes, a change in perspective is change enough for one New Year’s.