Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades of Fantasy

Fifty Shades of Grey sold 100 million copies worldwide, mainly to women, of all different ages, cultures and backgrounds. The book was so popular that Hollywood made a movie out of it. What was the enormous appeal?

The makers of Fifty Shades of Grey call it a fairy tale. We can safely say it meets the criteria of a fairytale, albeit a very adult one, in all its nuances. Fairy tales commonly involve fantastic forces or beings. Christian Grey is definitely “fantastic.” The stories have improbable events that lead to a happy ending. In Fifty Shades, Ana receives the attention and adoration of the most eligible bachelor of the day. Finally, fairy tales are seen as made-up stories designed to mislead their audiences. Fifty Shades of Grey can lead the reader or viewer into dangerous misconceptions of how life can be.

Belinda Luscombe, wrote an article for Time magazine, “The Grey Area,” in which she points out two of the major themes in the story that contribute to its enormous success. One, she says, can be found in romantic tales from Cinderella to modern-day: “an extraordinary man finds an ordinary woman so irresistible that he overcomes all obstacles – thirst, class divisions, or knowing nothing about her identity except her shoe size-to win her.”   The second theme, according to Luscombe, is the belief “that unremarkable people can suddenly discover that they are exceptional.”

The Ordinary Becomes Extraordinary

Why do so many fairy tales focus on an ordinary person becoming extraordinary? It starts at birth. Human beings come into the world needing to attract the attachment of a caretaker. Without that connection, the baby would not survive on its own. When a baby does not make the connections to have both emotional and physical needs met, then that child does not believe he or she is good, much less special.

The Search

They begin a lifelong search for that one person who will see them as extraordinary. Without that person, they do not believe themselves to be worthy. In a fairy tale, worth is discovered because someone else eventually comes along and recognizes our value. In reality, the recognition of others is not the catalyst – you can be special only when you see your own worth and value.

We Can Change People

In addition to these themes, I believe there is a third message present: we can change the people in our lives. Ana is presented as awkward, insecure and clumsy. Even so, this handsome and rich man who is extraordinary in every way chooses her, and pursues her. When she finally says yes, she becomes extraordinary. He is impacted by Ana in ways that no other woman has affected him, and asks the question, “What are you doing to me?”.

In the story, Ana is changing him. Christian says he does not do romance, but agrees to weekly date nights for her. He will not negotiate the terms of most relationships, but with her he does. In reality, however, no one can make internal changes for anyone but themselves. Just as he did not truly make her any different, she cannot change him either. We have to make ourselves powerful and extraordinary.

Are you ready to realize your own self-worth? Call Katherine at (919) 881-2001.

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