Empathy: A Way to Make Love Grow

Empathy: The Way to Make Love GrowEmpathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.  (Daniel H. Pink)

Empathy is more than a word in a quote posted to someone’s Facebook page in an attempt to be poetic.  It’s a key ingredient in fostering loving and caring relationships. Being able to experience a situation from someone else’s point of view is a requirement for creating intimacy. Continue reading

After Orlando, Deflecting Fear One Person at a Time

After Orlando Deflecting Fear One Person at a TimeAlisha came in with a look of fear and anxiety. “What is wrong with the world? Another mass shooting and no-one there to stop it. Why are the police not doing their job and protecting us? I can’t make sense of what is happening in the world. I feel so powerless, what can I do?”

Alisha was the first of many people, both male and female, to express these thoughts about the shooting in Orlando, both in and out of my office. In many ways, I am speechless and feel as powerless as everyone else.

The temptation is to follow the path of anger and violence: when in doubt, strike back. We all want something done so we can go back to what we see as the safe cocoon of the 50’s and 60’s. That is an illusion. I vividly remember the Bay of Pigs, waiting on the school playground to hear whether we were going to war. Was my daddy going to have to go to war? My best friend Kay and I held hands crying and trying to console one another.

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The Harsh Inner Critic Does Not Have to Win


The Harsh Inner Critic Does Not Have to WinHave you ever had a week, day or weekend like this: extra meetings, extra activities and a weekend trip to plan? You keep thinking you will get that piece of work that is due, done after you finish this one task. Unfortunately, “after” did not happen.

That is the kind of week I was having so I decided that I would write this week’s blog article during the weekend. As I was packing for my trip, I realized I had my computer but no power cord. I remained calm with myself and made a plan to stop by the office and get the cord on the way out-of-town. I picked up the cord the next day.

Saturday afternoon, between brunch and the evening’s event, I had time to write the article. I pulled the computer out and the cord was not in the case. I assume it was in another bag. After an exhaustive search of every bag and a trip outside to search the car, the cord was nowhere to be found.

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Basic Needs of Children, Part 1

Basic Needs of ChildrenYou may wonder why there are times when you become upset, seemingly “out of the blue.” Or why the Harsh Inner Critic chimes in to blast you unexpectedly. At times, the explanation can be found by examining how your basic needs were not met as a baby and/or as a child.

These unmet needs lie dormant in your unconscious mind, and can be activated by events or interactions with others.

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