7 ways Self-Compassion Can Help Make Your Holidays Better

Self-compassion and the holidaysAt this time of year, many people are asking themselves how to make it through the holidays. One way to help yourself through the season is by practicing self-compassion.

What is self-compassion?

Kristin Neff, the most well-known self-compassion researcher at the University of Texas-Austin, calls it “a healthier way of relating to yourself.”  It is a tool to help promote psychological healing, well-being, and better relationships.

Rather than beating yourself up, you extend kindness and understanding to yourself. It is a caring attitude, where you can encourage yourself and realize that being human means things can go wrong. Continue reading

Conflict During the Holidays, an Idea that will Help

Drama TriangleThe holidays bring families and friends together. Along with the joy and fun these gatherings bring, they also increase the opportunities for tension and misunderstandings. Often, these issues  can be avoided if we take time now to learn more about the reactions in ourselves that can be triggered at these events, and how they snowball in our own minds.

The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional interactions, created by Steven Karpman. It happens both with internal thoughts, and with external relationships.  Each point of the triangle represents a common and ineffective way to communicate and solve problems.

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Basic Needs of Children, Part 1

Basic Needs of ChildrenYou may wonder why there are times when you become upset, seemingly “out of the blue.” Or why the Harsh Inner Critic chimes in to blast you unexpectedly. At times, the explanation can be found by examining how your basic needs were not met as a baby and/or as a child.

These unmet needs lie dormant in your unconscious mind, and can be activated by events or interactions with others.

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6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner Critic

6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner CriticWe spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the Harsh Inner Critic, how it developed, and the role it plays in your life. It is important to remember that it is usually not right. You can build skills to find relief from its influence. Your life does not have to be controlled by these painful, critical messages.

You are not going to be able to banish or destroy these messages. However, you can learn to not allow them to dictate your moods or run your life.

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