Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together “I am a co-dependent. There is no way I am like those counter-dependents. I cling to people in relationships; I don’t push them away.”

It is possible to be both a co-dependent and a counter-dependent at the same time.  Each person has their “preferred” way of relating, but there are times when what is going on at an unconscious level may tell a very different story.

Co-dependency and counter-dependency work together in the mind to protect you from harm. In a relationship, they work to create a safe space where no one will get hurt. Continue reading

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependency

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependencyMuch has been written about co-dependency, its characteristics and the many ways it impacts relationships. Little has been written about the other side of the coin: counter-dependency. When circumstances are right, the co-dependent and counter-dependent will change roles. Even though they look very different they are both a product of fear. One is not worse than the other or more painful than the other. Continue reading

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Why Memories?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind While walking on a windy winter beach on Valentine’s Day, a depressed man who is feeling hopeless, meets a quirky woman. He is afraid of contact and talking; she appears to be full of life, enthusiasm and a longing for adventure.

She makes overtures of friendship and he responds. Thus, begins the relationship between Joel and Clementine in the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Continue reading

Anxiety: a Tool to Help You Disengage

anxiety; A Tool to Disengage

Anxiety is something that has become all too common in our modern world, and is something many of us do not enjoy. Can you think of anyone who appreciates the dread and worry that comes from paying extra attention to an uncomfortable situation? For some people, it can even have a physical element, from headaches and upset stomachs to all out panic attacks.

Disengaging from the discomfort of anxiety can be as simple as breathing, when you know  what you need to do and when. First, we have to know a few things about feelings. Feelings are also called emotions…energy in motion.

All emotions trigger in the same way:

An event occurs;

  1.  There is a physical response;
  2.  You process the event in your thoughts;
  3.  There is an evaluation of the meaning of the event.

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Lady GaGa’s Stand Against Sexual Assault

Lady Gaga and sexual assaultLady Gaga’s performance at this year’s Oscars touched lives across the country.  The emotional rendition of  “Til It Happens To You” brought the crowd to their feet, and started a conversation about sexual assault.

The song was written for The Hunting Ground, a documentary about sexual assault at colleges and universities.  The lyrics provide a portrait of what it is like to be a victim, and a survivor, of sexual assault. We are talking about more than rape; we are talking about non-consensual sexual contact. In the song, she addresses how abuse victims are mistreated long after the incident itself is over. Continue reading