Do you ever wonder why you don’t get as much done as others seem to? Are you disappointed in the things you decide to do, or by the outcome you achieve? There are those who can get twice as much accomplished as most folks, even organized people. Why? It may have to do with intention.
Tag: Self-Worth
5 Steps to Calm Down
A walk outside can help
Last week, we broke down the 5-step process of getting upset. We used the example of a father trying to get his daughter ready for school. He wanted to remain calm in a stressful situation, but instead became anxious and angry. It ended with him yelling at his daughter, her crying, and him feeling like a bad father.
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Collecting Evidence From Your True Self
Our identity is defined by our conscious beliefs, values, passions and motives. For most, we do not know our true self, what we believe and value. We are taught values before we have a vote in what they are, so many of us do not consciously know what we believe, we just believe. Continue reading
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10 Characteristics of Co-Dependents
In my last blog I talked about the definition of co-dependent and co-dependency. This week I want to talk about some of the characteristics of co-dependents and their behaviors.
- Everything related to feelings is difficult.
A co-dependent has a hard time identifying what they are feeling. They usually know what their partner and everyone else is feeling and determines their feelings accordingly. - Feeling good about themselves comes from others liking them.
When they don’t have approval from others, their Harsh Inner Critic tells them they are not wanted. - Their mental attention is focused outside of themselves.
It is focused on pleasing others and protecting others. If they can do something for another person and be recognized for it they will feel good. - Fear controls and motivates them.
The fear of anger and rejection determines what they say and how they act. They don’t have personal opinions, only opinions designed to please others.
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6 Skills for Better Relationships
Whether it’s a friendship, a romance, or a family member, good relationships don’t just happen. They take work, and require skills. I’ve listed six of them below that I think are crucial to maintaining good relationships in all areas of life.
- Set Boundaries.
It is important to know where you start and end, because it is easy to lose your sense of self in a new relationship. Getting caught up in the adventure of experiencing activities and ideas from a different perspective can override paying attention to yourself. You may neglect to notice your feelings about what you are doing and the amount of time you are spending with one person. Make sure you always check in with yourself before saying yes. Ask yourself, “Is this something I truly want or need to do?” - Ask for what you want and need.
No one can read your mind, so it is your responsibility to verbalize your wants and needs. Listen to yourself, feel your feelings, and trust yourself.