Tag: Victum

Lady GaGa’s Stand Against Sexual Assault

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Lady Gaga and sexual assaultLady Gaga’s performance at this year’s Oscars touched lives across the country.  The emotional rendition of  “Til It Happens To You” brought the crowd to their feet, and started a conversation about sexual assault.

The song was written for The Hunting Ground, a documentary about sexual assault at colleges and universities.  The lyrics provide a portrait of what it is like to be a victim, and a survivor, of sexual assault. We are talking about more than rape; we are talking about non-consensual sexual contact. In the song, she addresses how abuse victims are mistreated long after the incident itself is over. Continue reading →

6 Questions to ask if you are unsure about your relationship

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6 Questions to ask yourself if unsure about relationship“Relationships seek to obtain: Level flight, nice buzz, floating down the river, hitting rapids, “wee that was fun,” return to level flight.” Margaret Martin

 How do I know when it is right? Am I settling? What if I am making a mistake? These are common questions to ask yourself after the romance cools. These are extremely hard questions to answer because, let’s face it, there is always someone better. After the initial rush is gone, there is always another exciting romance to be had. No matter what your age, there is always someone else who can give you that initial high.

Are you asking the right questions?

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Questions to ask yourself when trapped in the Internal Drama Triangle

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In previous blog entries, we have talked about what to do when you are struggling with internal critical messages and the drama triangle. Today, I want to give you some questions to ask yourself at times when you can’t seem to untangle yourself from the confusion created by all the internal talk.

Sort Through the Voices: When you find yourself feeling like you have been bad or done something wrong, or when you keep circling around a problem or situation, stuck in the internal drama triangle, ask yourself some of the questions below. Try to identify what the Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor are saying to you. This may find it easier to sort out what you need to do for yourself.

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The Internal Drama Dialogue and John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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Earlier in this blog, I introduced the concept of the Internal Drama Triangle. Our recent discussions of codependency have brought us back to the topic, and how it plays out in thought patterns.

John Gottman talks about the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as a negative communication style for couples. The traits are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. We can see the same actions used by the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer in your own Internal Drama Triangle.

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12 Characteristics Of Adult Children Of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

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Last week, we looked at 11 rules commonly found in families where any variety of dysfunction exists, including Adult Children of Alcoholics.  Those rules are often formed before a child is aware that they exist. They remain unconscious and powerful directives in our lives well into adulthood.

This week, we want to talk about 12 ways these rules manifest in our adult behaviors.

 Adult children of alcoholics tend:

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