Happiness DYI: 5 Tips for Making Yourself Happier

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Do you spend time thinking about how to make friends and how to get others to like you? Do you think about how to like yourself, or even how to be your own best friend?

When you like yourself, then the Harsh Inner Critic has less power over how you feel. You have more strength to fight back against the negative messages we all have inside. When you feel like a good friend to yourself, then you can recognize when the Internal Drama starts. Being your own best friend makes it possible to turn the negative thoughts and beliefs into the positive. This will increase your happiness.

Techniques to increase your happiness.

The same techniques that can be used to make others like you can be used to help you learn to like yourself.

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Questions to ask yourself when trapped in the Internal Drama Triangle

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In previous blog entries, we have talked about what to do when you are struggling with internal critical messages and the drama triangle. Today, I want to give you some questions to ask yourself at times when you can’t seem to untangle yourself from the confusion created by all the internal talk.

Sort Through the Voices: When you find yourself feeling like you have been bad or done something wrong, or when you keep circling around a problem or situation, stuck in the internal drama triangle, ask yourself some of the questions below. Try to identify what the Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor are saying to you. This may find it easier to sort out what you need to do for yourself.

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The Internal Drama Dialogue and John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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Earlier in this blog, I introduced the concept of the Internal Drama Triangle. Our recent discussions of codependency have brought us back to the topic, and how it plays out in thought patterns.

John Gottman talks about the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as a negative communication style for couples. The traits are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. We can see the same actions used by the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer in your own Internal Drama Triangle.

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12 Characteristics Of Adult Children Of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

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Last week, we looked at 11 rules commonly found in families where any variety of dysfunction exists, including Adult Children of Alcoholics.  Those rules are often formed before a child is aware that they exist. They remain unconscious and powerful directives in our lives well into adulthood.

This week, we want to talk about 12 ways these rules manifest in our adult behaviors.

 Adult children of alcoholics tend:

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11 Rules You Didn’t Know Families Had

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Children who grew up in dysfunctional families often feel their experiences were unique, and that no one else can identify with what they went through. What you come to realize, however, is that many other people had similar situations and had similar feelings.

Science proves it, too.  The Adult Children of Alcoholics movement led to much study of families where there is dysfunction and inadequate parenting. These works found that many of these families had characteristics, behaviors, and family rules in common.

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