Symptoms: the Roadmap to Self Discovery

Symptoms a Roadmap to self discoveryThe man came into my office and told me he was here to be “fixed”. He told me he had an anger problem and needed someone to help him get rid of it.

When I inquired why he felt his anger was such a problem, he said that his wife and family did not like that he was angry all the time, and that the way he expressed his anger scared them.

The man talked about feeling that his needs were fulfilled after everyone else’s in the family. He had elderly parents who required a lot of time and care. He had a demanding job in healthcare and suffered from serious back problems, which caused him pain most of the time.

No wonder he acted angry all the time! I suggested that perhaps he had feelings that were hiding under the anger, hurt and sadness. He was surprised by that idea. It had never occurred to him that he might be feeling any emotion other than anger.

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The Harsh Inner Critic Does Not Have to Win


The Harsh Inner Critic Does Not Have to WinHave you ever had a week, day or weekend like this: extra meetings, extra activities and a weekend trip to plan? You keep thinking you will get that piece of work that is due, done after you finish this one task. Unfortunately, “after” did not happen.

That is the kind of week I was having so I decided that I would write this week’s blog article during the weekend. As I was packing for my trip, I realized I had my computer but no power cord. I remained calm with myself and made a plan to stop by the office and get the cord on the way out-of-town. I picked up the cord the next day.

Saturday afternoon, between brunch and the evening’s event, I had time to write the article. I pulled the computer out and the cord was not in the case. I assume it was in another bag. After an exhaustive search of every bag and a trip outside to search the car, the cord was nowhere to be found.

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,on Equality and Change

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, Jr. ,on equality and change.

I HAVE A DREAM

This is the day we commemorate the short life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  While he is adored and respected today, when he was alive he was feared and hated because he was working for radical change. He called for people to alter the structure of society, and to do so would require individuals to change from the inside.

 

We have moved from the era of civil rights to the era of human rights, an era where we are called upon to raise certain basic questions about the whole society.”

The call for Change

The message he brought to the world, and to the cause he championed, was far larger than segregation. He worked for justice, equality and peace. He opposed militarism and violence of any kind, yet he believed it takes action – nonviolent action – to bring about change.

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11 Ways to Distract Yourself From the Harsh Inner Critic

safe place from Harsh Inner critic. distractionIt may feel like there is no way to get out from under the control of the Harsh Inner Critic. The messages are so powerful and feel so true. The good news is that with time, practice and support you can develop the skill to be in charge of your thoughts and how you respond to them. This is not to say you can have absolute control, rather it is the ability to not believe everything you hear inside and, therefore, be able to make choices.

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6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner Critic

6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner CriticWe spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the Harsh Inner Critic, how it developed, and the role it plays in your life. It is important to remember that it is usually not right. You can build skills to find relief from its influence. Your life does not have to be controlled by these painful, critical messages.

You are not going to be able to banish or destroy these messages. However, you can learn to not allow them to dictate your moods or run your life.

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