Tag: false self

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together

Leave a comment

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together “I am a co-dependent. There is no way I am like those counter-dependents. I cling to people in relationships; I don’t push them away.”

It is possible to be both a co-dependent and a counter-dependent at the same time.  Each person has their “preferred” way of relating, but there are times when what is going on at an unconscious level may tell a very different story.

Co-dependency and counter-dependency work together in the mind to protect you from harm. In a relationship, they work to create a safe space where no one will get hurt. Continue reading →

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependency

Leave a comment

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependencyMuch has been written about co-dependency, its characteristics and the many ways it impacts relationships. Little has been written about the other side of the coin: counter-dependency. When circumstances are right, the co-dependent and counter-dependent will change roles. Even though they look very different they are both a product of fear. One is not worse than the other or more painful than the other. Continue reading →

11 Ways to Distract Yourself From the Harsh Inner Critic

Leave a comment

safe place from Harsh Inner critic. distractionIt may feel like there is no way to get out from under the control of the Harsh Inner Critic. The messages are so powerful and feel so true. The good news is that with time, practice and support you can develop the skill to be in charge of your thoughts and how you respond to them. This is not to say you can have absolute control, rather it is the ability to not believe everything you hear inside and, therefore, be able to make choices.

Continue reading →

6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner Critic

Leave a comment

6 Steps to Overcoming the Harsh Inner CriticWe spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the Harsh Inner Critic, how it developed, and the role it plays in your life. It is important to remember that it is usually not right. You can build skills to find relief from its influence. Your life does not have to be controlled by these painful, critical messages.

You are not going to be able to banish or destroy these messages. However, you can learn to not allow them to dictate your moods or run your life.

Continue reading →

6 Questions to ask if you are unsure about your relationship

Leave a comment

6 Questions to ask yourself if unsure about relationship“Relationships seek to obtain: Level flight, nice buzz, floating down the river, hitting rapids, “wee that was fun,” return to level flight.” Margaret Martin

 How do I know when it is right? Am I settling? What if I am making a mistake? These are common questions to ask yourself after the romance cools. These are extremely hard questions to answer because, let’s face it, there is always someone better. After the initial rush is gone, there is always another exciting romance to be had. No matter what your age, there is always someone else who can give you that initial high.

Are you asking the right questions?

Continue reading →