While walking on a windy winter beach on Valentine’s Day, a depressed man who is feeling hopeless, meets a quirky woman. He is afraid of contact and talking; she appears to be full of life, enthusiasm and a longing for adventure.
She makes overtures of friendship and he responds. Thus, begins the relationship between Joel and Clementine in the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Continue reading
John walked into the office and before he sat down, he announced that he had sold his motorcycle. It was a shock to me as well as to him.
Previously, he had casually mentioned that he might have to sell it. He didn’t want to, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to ride due to back and hip issues. It was sudden, almost impulsive, because after a difficult ride, he listed the bike for sale online. It sold within a few days to the first person who looked at it. Continue reading
Have you ever asked yourself, ”What was I thinking?” after saying or doing something? Or made a decision, then wondered if you had lost your mind? Have there been times when your feelings about someone else’s actions or words confused you? Have you ever found yourself in a friendship or romantic relationship, and after a few weeks ask yourself what you ever saw in that person?
In each of these examples, decisions, feelings, or thoughts that seemed fine in the moment made no sense in hindsight. Today, we will look as a possible reason why.
Advances in neuroscience are beginning to offer scientific proof of what psychotherapists have believed all along: memories, feelings or thoughts from the past get activated in present experiences and relationships. When this happens, we will feel and think in ways that are influenced by previous events. Continue reading
Our identity is defined by our conscious beliefs, values, passions and motives. For most, we do not know our true self, what we believe and value. We are taught values before we have a vote in what they are, so many of us do not consciously know what we believe, we just believe. Continue reading
Each of us has created an Internal Drama Triangle in our lives. It happens on an unconscious level to help us survive difficult situations. When we were children, it served us well in a time of need. Unfortunately, because it is an unconscious, it continues far beyond its usefulness and we don’t see it. This is a cycle designed to keep us from feeling our true feelings.
