It may feel like there is no way to get out from under the control of the Harsh Inner Critic. The messages are so powerful and feel so true. The good news is that with time, practice and support you can develop the skill to be in charge of your thoughts and how you respond to them. This is not to say you can have absolute control, rather it is the ability to not believe everything you hear inside and, therefore, be able to make choices.
Tag: Persecutor
Questions to ask yourself when trapped in the Internal Drama Triangle
In previous blog entries, we have talked about what to do when you are struggling with internal critical messages and the drama triangle. Today, I want to give you some questions to ask yourself at times when you can’t seem to untangle yourself from the confusion created by all the internal talk.
Sort Through the Voices: When you find yourself feeling like you have been bad or done something wrong, or when you keep circling around a problem or situation, stuck in the internal drama triangle, ask yourself some of the questions below. Try to identify what the Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor are saying to you. This may find it easier to sort out what you need to do for yourself.
The Internal Drama Dialogue and John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Earlier in this blog, I introduced the concept of the Internal Drama Triangle. Our recent discussions of codependency have brought us back to the topic, and how it plays out in thought patterns.
John Gottman talks about the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as a negative communication style for couples. The traits are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. We can see the same actions used by the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer in your own Internal Drama Triangle.
Internal Drama Triangle: Getting Off The Merry-Go-Round
Each of us has created an Internal Drama Triangle in our lives. It happens on an unconscious level to help us survive difficult situations. When we were children, it served us well in a time of need. Unfortunately, because it is an unconscious, it continues far beyond its usefulness and we don’t see it. This is a cycle designed to keep us from feeling our true feelings.
The Internal Drama Triangle: Let’s all Get on the Merry- Go-Round
The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional interactions, created by Steven Karpman. It happens both with internal thoughts, and in external relationships. Each point of the triangle represents a common and ineffective way to communicate and solve problems. This is a way of looking at how we talk to ourselves when there is an Internal Harsh Critic. Continue reading