Empathy: A Way to Make Love Grow

Empathy: The Way to Make Love GrowEmpathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.  (Daniel H. Pink)

Empathy is more than a word in a quote posted to someone’s Facebook page in an attempt to be poetic.  It’s a key ingredient in fostering loving and caring relationships. Being able to experience a situation from someone else’s point of view is a requirement for creating intimacy. Continue reading

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Why Memories?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind While walking on a windy winter beach on Valentine’s Day, a depressed man who is feeling hopeless, meets a quirky woman. He is afraid of contact and talking; she appears to be full of life, enthusiasm and a longing for adventure.

She makes overtures of friendship and he responds. Thus, begins the relationship between Joel and Clementine in the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Continue reading

Expectations and Patterns

Expectations and patternsHave you ever asked yourself, ”What was I thinking?” after saying or doing something?  Or made a decision, then wondered if you had lost your mind?  Have there been times when your feelings about someone else’s actions or words confused you? Have you ever found yourself in a friendship or romantic relationship, and after a few weeks ask yourself what you ever saw in that person?

In each of these examples, decisions, feelings, or thoughts that seemed fine in the moment made no sense in hindsight.  Today, we will look as a possible reason why.

Neuroscience

Advances in neuroscience are beginning to offer scientific proof of what psychotherapists have believed all along: memories, feelings or thoughts from the past get activated in present experiences and relationships. When this happens, we will feel and think in ways that are influenced by previous events. Continue reading