Do you ever feel like you are looking at the world from a distance; that there is a screen between yourself and others? It may be because you are living out of a false self rather than your true self.

Deep inside of you lives your true self. The true self is that part of you that feels at home in your body and your life. It is based on spontaneous, authentic experiences of feeling alive.

The purpose of the false self

The false self is a defensive facade. Its purpose is to defend against the difficulties and dangers in life. It is there to help you survive. It is who you are expected to be in order to be accepted.

Everyone comes into the world with an intellectual and psychological self. How you are mirrored from birth shapes you into the self that you know.

If your mother or main caretaker sees who you are and reflects that back, there is the opportunity to know yourself, and the true self has the opportunity to develop. Human beings learn to label feelings and experiences by how they are mirrored by the adults around them. If a baby is looked at with love, they will learn they are lovable and valuable. The true self will be experienced, known and allowed to develop.

How the False self develops

On the other hand, if the baby is seen as an extension of the mother and is expected to please her and be who she wants, the false self develops. If the baby is neglected and not seen, the true self will remain undeveloped.

When children do not receive validation and praise for who they are, it leaves a sense that something is missing inside, creating a feeling of loneliness. They often seek someone or something from the outside to feel complete. Yet, it is never enough.

The emptiness inside is only filled when the true self is known and developed.

Feel like you are living out of a false self? Feel like you only know part of your true self? Call me, I can help. (919)881-2001.