In last week’s blog, we looked at events in your past and how they led to the development of a false self. This week, we are going to take a look at your present. The purpose of this blog is to help you “see” your life so you can find your true self.

We will begin to determine what feels good and satisfying to you. We also need to identify things in your life that contribute to feeling bad about yourself, and that prevent you from finding your true self. We will use this information as well as what you discovered last week to create a more satisfying life.

Questions to help you “see” what is happening in and around you:

1. Make a list of the people in your life.
2. As you think about each person, ask yourself, “Do I like them and enjoy being with them?” Why or why not?
3. Make a list of the activities in your life.
4. Ask yourself, “Do I enjoy this activity?” Why or why not?
5. How much do you enjoy the time you spend with these people or doing these activities? If it is less than 50%, ask yourself what you are getting from the relationship or activity.

Determine who and what you want to keep in your life.

1. Look at the characteristics of each person you want to keep in your life; ask yourself what you like about them.
2. Look at the activities you want to keep in your life; ask yourself what you enjoy about each activity.
3. Compile a list of what you like. This list tells you what to look for in people and activities. These characteristics come from your true self.

Move Closer to your true self by asking:

“Who and what do I want in my life?” If you have spent your life living out of the rules and beliefs you were given as a child, this will take time. The effort is worth it, because it will lead you to a more satisfying life. Remember, you have all the time you need to create the life that will be satisfying to you.

“What new activities can I try to learn more about my true self?” One of the ways to find your true self is to build a new life by doing new things and meeting new people. Choose these activities using what you have already learned about yourself. Pay attention to how you feel about these new activities and people.

“Which of these things do you want to make a part of your ongoing life?”   When you do something new, it does not mean you have to continue if you do not like it. You are auditioning the activities and people to see if you want to have them as a part of your ongoing life. There are many, many things in the world to try.

Again, ask yourself what you like as you have these experiences and interactions. The information you gather in these exercises lead you to a working knowledge of who you are.

If you are having trouble answering these questions, I can help you hear yourself. I can be reached at: 919-881-2001.