As the holidays come to an end and the new year kicks in, I want to talk about winter as a time to meditate and be introspective. It is a time to grow deep roots.
The lessons nature teaches us at this time of the year are about death and resurrection, rest and introspection. In the cold, dark months the leaves fall from the trees, many plants die, and the weather is cold and inhospitable.
Now that Christmas Day has passed, we are in the period of time when everyone is looking toward the New Year. Once again there is hype and an exaggerated focus on parties, fun, resolutions and having the “perfect” person or activity with whom to share the celebrations.
In short, it is another opportunity for elevated expectations and disappointment.
A friend of mine gave me a great idea for beginning the year. For the last decade, she starts New Year’s Day with a cup of coffee and her Memory Jar. She settles into an easy chair and reads the small pieces of paper contained inside.
At this time of year, many people are asking themselves how to make it through the holidays. One way to help yourself through the season is by practicing self-compassion.
What is self-compassion?
Kristin Neff, the most well-known self-compassion researcher at the University of Texas-Austin, calls it “a healthier way of relating to yourself.” It is a tool to help promote psychological healing, well-being, and better relationships.
Rather than beating yourself up, you extend kindness and understanding to yourself. It is a caring attitude, where you can encourage yourself and realize that being human means things can go wrong. Continue reading
The holidays bring families and friends together. Along with the joy and fun these gatherings bring, they also increase the opportunities for tension and misunderstandings. Often, these issues can be avoided if we take time now to learn more about the reactions in ourselves that can be triggered at these events, and how they snowball in our own minds.
The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional interactions, created by Steven Karpman. It happens both with internal thoughts, and with external relationships. Each point of the triangle represents a common and ineffective way to communicate and solve problems.
Thanksgiving, the official beginning of the holiday season, will be here in three days. Do you feel like you are already overwhelmed by everything that HAS to be done? Are you feeling like you are behind before you’ve even begun?
One reason could be that part of you is making demands that are unrealistic. Continue reading
