Now that you have compiled all this information about yourself, you can begin to identify your deepest values, core beliefs, passions and motives. The true self is made up of these things.
Life is a journey worth taking. To make the trip enjoyable, you need to create goals that come from your true self. The goals you set become the compass for your life. Not all goals are accomplished, but they still lead you forward in your life. Continue reading
Our identity is defined by our conscious beliefs, values, passions and motives. For most, we do not know our true self, what we believe and value. We are taught values before we have a vote in what they are, so many of us do not consciously know what we believe, we just believe. Continue reading
In the previous post,we asked the question,”Do you know your true self?” Today, let’s take a closer look at what the false self is, and how it develops.
As human beings, we need a witness: a person to see what we do and feel, and to reflect back to us. That enables us to put words to our experiences, making it possible to give meaning to our lives. As we mature, the external witness is incorporated into the self, creating the ability to give meaning from the inside. Continue reading
Perfectionism is developed early in life by children living in a family where their needs are not adequately met (Bad in Good World). Because of the early genesis, people do not realize that they are a perfectionist. They are astonished when a friend, family member, or co-worker points it out. Their usual response is, “How can you think I am a perfectionist, when I never get anything perfect?”
Last week, we looked at 11 rules commonly found in families where any variety of dysfunction exists, including Adult Children of Alcoholics. Those rules are often formed before a child is aware that they exist. They remain unconscious and powerful directives in our lives well into adulthood.
This week, we want to talk about 12 ways these rules manifest in our adult behaviors.