Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together

Relationships: How Counter-dependency and Co-dependency Work Together “I am a co-dependent. There is no way I am like those counter-dependents. I cling to people in relationships; I don’t push them away.”

It is possible to be both a co-dependent and a counter-dependent at the same time.  Each person has their “preferred” way of relating, but there are times when what is going on at an unconscious level may tell a very different story.

Co-dependency and counter-dependency work together in the mind to protect you from harm. In a relationship, they work to create a safe space where no one will get hurt. Continue reading

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependency

A Comparison of Counter-Dependency and Co-dependencyMuch has been written about co-dependency, its characteristics and the many ways it impacts relationships. Little has been written about the other side of the coin: counter-dependency. When circumstances are right, the co-dependent and counter-dependent will change roles. Even though they look very different they are both a product of fear. One is not worse than the other or more painful than the other. Continue reading

Mid-week Special:The Body Talks

THE BODY communicationWhen Albert Einstein met Charlie Chaplin, Einstein said,“What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!”

Silent film star Charlie Chaplin epitomizes the power of nonverbal communication.  Think about it for a moment: he mastered the use of facial expressions and body language to convey messages in a medium where words were not an option.  He did so to such a degree that in 1998 – well into the age when words, music, and CGI could tell the story in the movies – film critic Andrew Sarris called Chaplin “arguably the single most important artist produced by the cinema, certainly its most extraordinary performer and probably still its most universal icon”.

Chaplin can help us understand what we were talking about last week: the importance of showing up.  When you show up there will be a language spoken, even if words are not.  As in Chaplin’s day, it will be the language of your body. Experiences and feelings are expressed by your movements, your posture, your silence, and your stillness. Continue reading

11 Ways to Distract Yourself From the Harsh Inner Critic

safe place from Harsh Inner critic. distractionIt may feel like there is no way to get out from under the control of the Harsh Inner Critic. The messages are so powerful and feel so true. The good news is that with time, practice and support you can develop the skill to be in charge of your thoughts and how you respond to them. This is not to say you can have absolute control, rather it is the ability to not believe everything you hear inside and, therefore, be able to make choices.

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A Relationship? Or a Fling? 7 Ways to tell what (S)he Wants

A relationship? A Fling?“I don’t know where he stands in our relationship, but I’m glad he still thinks I’m girlfriend material. He still wants to have sex with me.”

Being wanted for sex is not a sign that you are wanted as a girlfriend/boyfriend. There are plenty of people who may want to have sex with you yet have no desire to have a committed relationship. Sex is not an indication of love or commitment.

7 Behaviors That Indicate Interest

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