Tag: false self

A Relationship? Or a Fling? 7 Ways to tell what (S)he Wants

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A relationship? A Fling?“I don’t know where he stands in our relationship, but I’m glad he still thinks I’m girlfriend material. He still wants to have sex with me.”

Being wanted for sex is not a sign that you are wanted as a girlfriend/boyfriend. There are plenty of people who may want to have sex with you yet have no desire to have a committed relationship. Sex is not an indication of love or commitment.

7 Behaviors That Indicate Interest

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The True Self: Part Discovery, Part Reinvention

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reinvention of self

How to eat an elephant

You are on the path of finding your true self. This process is part discovery, as you learn about the parts of yourself that you like and want to keep, and part reinvention, as you merge the “keepers” with the new pieces you find.

When you are integrating the old self and the discovered self, it is helpful to have some direction.  Pamela Mitchell, founder and CEO of The Reinvention Institute, has put a lot of work into providing this direction.  Reading some of her latest works helped me assemble these steps to get you started. Continue reading →

Station Eleven: “Survival is Insufficient.”

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Station Eleven: Survival is InsufficientWe often read fiction as a form of escape, but I recently read a novel that was both entertaining and enlightening. Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel speaks to choices we make in life and the impact they have.

The main character, Kirsten, was just a child when a deadly flu killed 99% of the world’s population in a matter of days. She survived by hiding in her home with her brother until the contagion had passed. When they finally ventured into the world, she carried with her a comic book and the memory of the famous actor who gave it to her. The object and the memory remained with her for decades, shaping her life. Continue reading →

Life is a Journey to Your True Self: Creating Goals

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Now that you have compiled all this information about yourself, you can begin to identify your deepest values, core beliefs, passions and motives. The true self is made up of these things.

Life is a journey worth taking. To make the trip enjoyable, you need to create goals that come from your true self. The goals you set become the compass for your life. Not all goals are accomplished, but they still lead you forward in your life. Continue reading →

The False Self as Witness

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IMG_4048In the previous post,we asked the question,”Do you know your true self?” Today, let’s take a closer look at what the false self is, and how it develops.

As human beings, we need a witness: a person to see what we do and feel, and to reflect back to us. That enables us to put words to our experiences, making it possible to give meaning to our lives. As we mature, the external witness is incorporated into the self, creating the ability to give meaning from the inside. Continue reading →