Expectations and Patterns in Relationship

Expectations and patterns: relationshipWhat Does Love Have to do With it?

In last week’s blog,  we talked about  memories, feelings or thoughts from the past being activated in present experiences and relationships. When this happens, we will feel and think in ways that are influenced by previous events. This dynamic  can be seen in romantic relationships

You meet someone and from the first moment, they feel just right. They seem to know what you are thinking before you speak. You have shared interests and similar backgrounds. You feel comfortable with him or her from the beginning  and feel comfortable telling them anything.

Fast forward six months, a year, even ten years, and that same person has become someone whom you both love and hate. It’s as if you can’t live with him or her, yet you can’t live without that person either.  He or she irritates you almost every time they speak.  You don’t feel that person understands you any longer and you sure don’t understand him or her.

The meaningful talk has stopped. You do small talk, you argue, or you don’t talk at all.

You wonder what happened in the relationship; did the other person change or did you? Continue reading

Mindfulness and Meditation for Reflection

mindfulnessLast week, we talked about winter being a natural time of reflection and introspection. I gave you 5 questions to consider to help you use winter as your own season of contemplation.  It is important to remember that this process only works if you give it time.

Think of it like starting a garden. You do not run out and dig deep holes in random places. The first step is to look at your land, the area you have, and begin to dream and imagine what your garden will become. Then you need specific information about how to grow a garden that accounts for a number of variables, including where you are, what soil you have, and what purpose the garden will serve.Only then can you begin to turn the soil.

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5 Questions to Consider as 2016 Begins

5 questions to ask yourself to start the new year and winterAs the holidays come to an end and the new year kicks in, I want to talk about winter as a time to meditate and be introspective. It is a time to grow deep roots.

The lessons nature teaches us at this time of the year are about death and resurrection, rest and introspection. In the cold, dark months the leaves fall from the trees, many plants die, and the weather is cold and inhospitable.

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Celebrate The New Year With A Memory Jar

Memory JarNow that Christmas Day has passed, we are in the period of time when everyone is looking toward the New Year.  Once again there is hype and an exaggerated focus on parties, fun, resolutions and having the “perfect” person or activity with whom to share the celebrations.

In short, it is another opportunity for elevated expectations and disappointment.

A friend of mine gave me a great idea for beginning the year. For the last decade, she starts New Year’s Day with a cup of coffee and her Memory Jar.  She settles into an easy chair and reads the small pieces of paper contained inside.

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